Oh, I see what I did there.
Welcome to your roundup of the week’s political nonsense, served bipartisan because frankly, neither side has earned a free pass. Today: lab rats, biological sexes, and the surprisingly contentious matter of how an airman wears a short-sleeve shirt. Buckle up.
Story One: The Rats Were Never the Punchline
The Trump administration and its allies have scored easy applause lines by mocking the federal government for funding “transgender experiments on rats,” with DOGE eventually terminating roughly $240 million in NIH grants for animal studies involving hormone regimens. Sen. James Lankford’s “Federal Fumbles” report described these as NIH-funded studies that “attempted to model transgender adults and children by subjecting animals to hormone regimens and surgical procedures.” Cue the laughter.
Here’s the thing the gotcha skips: rats and humans share roughly 85% of protein-coding genes, and our endocrine systems are close enough that a rat’s hormone response can meaningfully predict a human’s. When researchers give rats testosterone or estrogen, they’re not staging a culture-war stunt—they’re studying metabolism, addiction risk, and cardiovascular effects relevant to everyone. Insulin came from dogs. The polio vaccine came from monkeys. Open-heart surgery, chemo, anesthesia, and the COVID vaccines all trace back to animal models. You can sit at the top of the food chain and feel uneasy about the lab. What you can’t do honestly is enjoy every fruit of that research while sneering at the tree. And here’s the policy point made plainly: you can believe taxpayers shouldn’t fund transition care—that’s a legitimate budget debate—without pretending the underlying science should vanish. Adults who pay for their own care still need doctors at the frontier, not guessing.
Verdict: Funny soundbite, expensive ignorance.
Story Two: When “I Was Surprised Too” Is the Tell
Over on the blue side, Texas Senate nominee James Talarico has spent the spring cleaning up a 2021 remark. Arguing against a transgender-athlete bill, he said modern science “recognizes that there are many more than two biological sexes,” adding, “In fact, there are six, which honestly … surprised me, too.” He later clarified he meant chromosomal variations like XXY and single-X—a real biological phenomenon—not “six genders.”
But notice the tell: surprised me, too. When a confident person encounters a claim that sounds off, the instinct should be “wait, is this idea wrong?” Talarico’s instinct was “the gap must be in me.” That’s the intellectual reflex worth flagging—assuming you’re behind the science rather than asking whether the talking point is just insecure. A scientist likely did a poor job explaining to him genetic anomalies like Klinefelter’s or Turner’s syndrome, and he conflated that misunderstanding with his views on gender identity. To his credit, Talarico now admits some past comments “missed the mark” and were “cringey,” which is more than most politicians manage. I like Talarico and hope he learns not to be everything to everyone at all times.
Verdict: Real science, oversold framing, decent walk-back.
Story Three: The Tape Measure and the Tie
And now, a public service announcement for anyone in Air Force blues, because misinformation here has real consequences.
First, the correction everyone gets wrong: the Air Force does not use a “height-to-waist ratio.” The standard is the waist-to-height ratio (WHtR), which replaced the old “tape test” discontinued in 2020. Under guidance effective across all branches January 1, 2026, height-and-weight tables are out. The math: divide waist by height in the same units; the DoD ceiling is less than 0.55, with anything at or above triggering further evaluation. Waist is measured parallel to the floor at the midpoint between the lowest rib and the top of the hip bone, and body composition is about 20% of your fitness score.
The old waist circumference test genuinely relied on data indicating abdominal obesity is a major predictor of heart disease and diabetes. The Air Force also sincerely updated the even older waist-to-hip BMI ratio, which not only failed to accurately predict chronic illness associated with body composition, but it also disproportionately targeted African American and Hispanic women, whose larger hip fat stores are actually cardio protective.
As for the short-sleeve dress shirt: with long sleeves, a tie is mandatory. With short sleeves, the tie is optional—unless worn as part of the Class A uniform, in which case it’s required. Rule of thumb for events: match the formality of the civilians around you. When in doubt, confirm against the current DAFI 36-2903.
Make no mistake, though, the military exists to protect America. Unless you’re a five-year-old, it’s not a job so you can travel the world and get to attend really cool social events for fun. The uniform and body standards are not perfect, but they are rooted in rational concepts designed to keep us alive.
Verdict: Less culture war, more “please read the regulation.”
Three stories, no one was spared except an always yodeling, sometimes teetotaling (no such thing!), devoutly non-marital spouse. See you next week.
